ugh... it's really hit me...

As I sit here writing, I'm sniffling and wiping away tears and snot.. Today for the second time in a week or two my clothes were accidentally dried. You may not think this is a big deal. However, the first time my husband dried one of my favorite shirts and I cried a little.. over it already.. Today my mom dried and shrunk a load of clothes that already BARELY fits me and quite possibly the only clothes that fit me.. I feel so unbelievably defeated.. At first she said "oh you'll fit into them again" until I told her that's about all I do fit into, then I could tell she felt horrible.. not the reaction I was going for.. I just wanted to tell her not to touch my clothes every again.. lol... (and, before I get any lectures, I do know how lucky I am that my mom came over to visit and did a load of laundry for me).. I've started digging into my husbands closet for t-shirts because mine just don't fit right and my favorite pair of shorts didn't do up this morning.. Today has been a total reality check and as I sit here tearing up again all I want to do is dig back into shitty food again.. Why is it when we are at our lowest point we still want the thing that brings us down the most??