Struggling for motivation...

Anyone else here? I'm just at a point where I don't like what's in the mirror but I'm questioning what's the point? I know, I know.. Health for my girls and I.. That's huge.. But I'm just getting to the point where I will get that spark again and start my process again and I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll gain it all back again like I did before. I'm afraid I'll lose my motivation again..

This sucks!! But, it's the right mindset right?!

Thanks for listening to my vent...

start over again...and again...and again...

Well, after trying to do everything on my own and track on a piece of paper here and text myself there, I will be doing weight watchers. I have all of my paperwork from long ago plus a new book from my mom to get me going. I've been slacking here and there and that here and there is leaving me stagnant and right back where I am. Having one bad meal (last night) leaves me back with excess weight I just don't need.. I'm so tired of being this big and although I've seen the inches leaving, I need the weight to go too. My migraines are getting the better of me, and the little headaches all the time mixed with sore joints when I wake up totally sucks.. I need to be a better example for my children. Now to my next challenge... getting my husband on board!!! I'm thinking of both of us joining... Now that would be interesting!! lol! Although when I did my points I was shocked at how much more he gets than me! jerk...

Here comes a holiday...

I'm very patriotic, I love my country.. But seriously?!? Why so much food people???

Now that I'm off my soapbox I can sy that I'm glad we're going to my moms where we'll have lots of healthy choices... But, those bad things will still be there too.. I've bought a huge watermelon to cut up and eat there and I'm making deviled eggs minus the heavy duty stuff and I'll stick to my cheeseburger with no bun! I've learned from some of the fabulous ladies that support me that I just need to pre-plan a little and it will help keep me on track!!

Any tips or suggestions you might like to share??

ugh... it's really hit me...

As I sit here writing, I'm sniffling and wiping away tears and snot.. Today for the second time in a week or two my clothes were accidentally dried. You may not think this is a big deal. However, the first time my husband dried one of my favorite shirts and I cried a little.. over it already.. Today my mom dried and shrunk a load of clothes that already BARELY fits me and quite possibly the only clothes that fit me.. I feel so unbelievably defeated.. At first she said "oh you'll fit into them again" until I told her that's about all I do fit into, then I could tell she felt horrible.. not the reaction I was going for.. I just wanted to tell her not to touch my clothes every again.. lol... (and, before I get any lectures, I do know how lucky I am that my mom came over to visit and did a load of laundry for me).. I've started digging into my husbands closet for t-shirts because mine just don't fit right and my favorite pair of shorts didn't do up this morning.. Today has been a total reality check and as I sit here tearing up again all I want to do is dig back into shitty food again.. Why is it when we are at our lowest point we still want the thing that brings us down the most??

Phew...

Today I ate onion rings... I've felt dirty ever since.. Blech.. I have been doing *okay* lately.. I'd much prefer to believe that I can do this without exercise...buuuuuttttttt... Yeah, not happening! Lol!!

Awww... It's been a long few days and I'm hoping that tomorrow I wake up refreshed and ready to take on some healthy activity!!

Oh boy...

Well, since my last post in February I have gained more weight... It's now 0 down and 60 to go... :( I'm not proud of this, and am in fact pissed off that I let myself get to this point.. First of all, I just gave up when I got poison ivy working in my yard and could barely move my legs without having horrible itching and scratching... It was beyond debilitating as far as exercise goes...

However, now I have a good outlook (most of the time) and I'm tracking my food intake with spark people and have lost 1.5lbs! :)

I'll be on here more because I know I need to vent, etc in order to be successful!!

Wish me luck!! :)

lack of motivation..

I have been under the weather and lost a good portion of my motivation.. any suggestions? I downloaded an app onto my iphone to help mix up my workouts a little so I'm not getting stagnant.. Hopefully that helps..

What do you do to keep your motivation?